Is it selfish to be a little gratified to know that people miss you when you're gone? But on the downside to that, normally if you know someone well enough for them to miss you, then you are missing them too.
This explains what is happening today. Today is my first day that I am not going to work like I want to be. Already I am missing glancing at the clock to see if I have procrastinated too long and am therefore going to have to rush to work.
Many people completely discount the connection you feel to a family that you have been a part of for two years. Sure, I'm just the nanny/babysitter and I only come in 2-3 days a week. But even in 15-22 hours a week, you become part of the family. You see the family in all of the stages of their day and life.
Only the nanny/babysitter sees all the junk food hidden in the back of the fridge. Only they see their boss/es in all stages of dress or undress. Only they see the children in their best and worst states, cute and "monstery," dirty and clean, obedient and disobedient. They may meet the inlaws and the family. They find out where the toilet paper is, not because they asked, but because they got stuck in the bathroom without any and had to troop and snoop around in cupboards to find some. They see the best and the worst of every family they are a part of. And that is what makes you become part of the family.
And not only on the babysitter's side. They see you arrive in outfits that look like you got dressed in the dark. When your hair is all over because it was windy outside and well, you just didn't really look in the mirror when you were doing it. They let you lounge on their couch with their blankets and watch as you drool during your nap. And who even can tell what kind of noises or what you might say in your sleep on their couch? They let you scrounge in their cupboard for leftovers and try last night's dinner. And your favorite boss will see you at your best and worst when they not only connect with you on Facebook, but also meet your family and connect to all of them! They see just how crazy you are and after meeting your family, how you got there.
The connection between the babysitter/nanny and the children is not to be dismissed either. After all, you become sort of an aunt/mother figure. Or as the Spanish may say, a mamacita, a little mama or sweet mama. When you have taken care of a child from infancy, you have a connection to that child that is much like a motherly relationship. Some nannies recognize the child's faults more than their parents and others look past those faults just because they love the child so much.
Watching someone else take that place in the child's life is hard, no matter whether it be someone you know or don't know, if it is for 1 day or 2 months. Someone who has not been in a nanny/family relationship can never understand that connection completely. They may say they do, but when it comes down to it, they don't. That's why they can't understand why I want to return to work after having Evie.
It's because R, G, RJ, & N are a part of my family. I consider R & G not as the people that write my check or as my "boss", but as my friends and my family. They've been with me through a miscarriage, 2 birthdays, and a great pregnancy along with all the wonderful trimmings.
RJ is the only six year old that has me googling things to find out if it's possible that a six year knows something I don't. He challenges me to convince him of things that I believe to be the truth while he believes what is completely opposite. He's the only six year old just like him.
And N...we've been through everything together. With his reflux, enough spit up and throw up for several changes of clothes. Watching him learn how to crawl and eventually having a "baby jail" so that you can just do something else for a couple of minutes. Seeing him grow hair, gorgeous hair, but admiring when he got his first haircut. Walking. Running. And now talking. Learning his colors or at least trying to. Getting excited about pullups. He's an amazing little boy and blesses my heart everyday that I can spend with him. He's given me a taste of what "Mommy Love" is. He has a special place in my heart and that's why I can't wait for him to be a part of Evie's life. I'm sure that it will be an adjustment for everyone. He's a boy and boys can be a little boogery and rough and temperamental (especially at two years old), but he is very excited about meeting Evie. I can't wait for her to jump right into having a big brother figure.
The last two years of being part of their family have been a great blessing. I'm going to miss R & G, RJ, and N in the next 2-3 months, but I'm looking forward to continuing the wonderful relationship that we've had. And since MJ is taking care of N and RJ until I am ready for work again, hopefully it won't be another 2 months before I see all my family again. :)